Toldot and Reconcilliation

The parasha this week, Toldot,  talks about the birth of Jacob and Esau and how even before they were born, the differences in their personalities were apparent. The Torah tells us “vayitrotzetzu” that the two ran around or became excited.

The commentators talked about what this movement might have been and in Midrash, in Bereshit Rabah, they explain that while Rebecca was pregnant when she walked close to a place where Avoda Zara (foreign worship) was being practiced, then Esau became agitated and wanted to get out. And when she walked close to a place of worship and study, Jacob would become agitated and want out. The Midrash tells us that lest we think that the adversarial attitude between the brothers came out only after birth, we see signs of it before they were born.

The word for adversarial “v’n’sdaveg” can mean adversity or confrontation but it comes from the root zug (couple or partner) which has connotations of intimacy. The intimate relationship which Jacob and Esau had also started before they were born.

It is interesting to me that the nations throughout history are compared to Esau and Jacob and not to Ishmael and Isaac. Ishmael and Isaac were half brothers born years apart who, after Hagar and Ishmael were banished, do not meet again until after their father’s death. Esau and Jacob were twins who grew up together and who later in life reconciled.

And it is that reconciliation based on the recollection of the intimacy they had as children and in the womb, which gives us hope today.

Both Esau and Jacob put their arguments and complaints aside to embrace each other as brothers.

Enough time has passed and each has ‘let go’ of the feelings which may have caused the rift they can remember the intimacy of their youth and get to know each other as adults.

It is that reconciliation which is ultimately the point to learn from this story …to let go of old perceptions and grow to new understandings of the people around us and the word we live in.

Shabbat Shalom